Rules for a successful holiday: 1. Get together with the family 2. Relive old times 3. Get out before it blows storypeople
Dessert Errata by Michael Feldman
A PRAYER OF THANKSGIVING
Go resignedly to the folks’ remembering it’s just for a few hours. Though you must make appearances at her side as well as your own, eat with as much relish as you can muster, for this, too, shall pass. Choose carefully your words, gingerly stepping around your cousin Ruth’s latest fiasco with the Arthur Murray instructor, and ask not about Marlene.
Let on not that you have heard the stories before, and utter them not aloud simultaneously nor anticipate the punch lines. Chew with vigor and bite thy tongue, for the bird hath been cooked since Tuesday, yet praise it tenderly for it never heard a compliment in life. Be sage about the dressing though you know not the origin of the little hard things; should you bite into the wedding band, return it with discretion. Though it resemble syrup, pour not the Manischewitz on the sherbet.
Avoid your Uncle Lou; he is vexatious to the spirit. Kick not your little brother under the table, but show the forbearance of the season and pound him later. Picture Naomi and the kids as alien life-forms, and learn from them. Shout not at Gram, for she heareth what she chooseth. Though you take on much wine, sing not The Barber of Seville nor show undue attention to your niece, who has become quite the young lady. If belch thou must, let it not herald the start of a contest. Mince no words over the piece of pie which passeth all understanding.
Above all, say nothing on the ride home, even though the temptation to cite what might have happened but didn’t be great. For that give silent thanks, resolving to firm up those plans for Aruba over Christmas.
All funny stories aside, one of the greatest things I have to give thanks for this year is my family. I truly love every holiday minute with them……or most of those minutes…….or lots of minutes with various individual family members…..No, I truly do love every moment with them and do not take those moments for granted.
A tradition that we started on our first Thanksgiving after my father died was to do some sort of a family project together as a way of giving. We’ve done stockings for homeless men, toys for kids at a neighborhood center, and this year we did stockings for little boys in a residential care program.
I wouldn’t trade families with anyone. Not on our worst days, and certainly not on Thanksgiving!