Edit, Add, Appreciate

Continuing to follow Graceful Creative on theEdit, Add, Appreicate it thread on Sundays.
So, for this week:

Edit- About a year and a half ago when my father was diagnosed with lung cancer, a wise friend who had recently lost her own father to cancer reminded me of Anne Lamott's admonishment to "as much as possible, live in the present." When someone has a life threatening illness, your eyes are always scanning the horizon, you are always trying to think through what could be ahead, and you could almost miss the time you have with your loved one. I appreciate that wise counsel and have shared it with others- like pressing a secret into their hand as they start down a dark road. As much as possible, live in the present. Tuesday will mark one year without my dad. This week I am giving myself the very advice that served me so well before. The temptation is great to revisit that exhausting day a year ago, to wonder if we made the right choices about his care, to wish we might have said more or done more. And to do that would be a disservice to my father who loved life and clung to it, and who lives forever in our hearts. This week two of his grandchildren are graduating from high school, one of them being my own daughter. What great joy he took in them, and what high hopes he had for them as they cross this new threshold, and I choose to honor him by being very present with them in this joyful time in their lives. As much as possible, I will live in the present this week.
Add- I will add in more contemplative time this week. Shelling peas, as I did tonight. Carrying water to my plants in buckets as my hose is broken. Honest repetitive work that is quiet enough for me to hear my own voice.
Appreciate: Especially appreciating my sister this week as her sweet boy, my precious and perfect nephew graduates. She has done a million trillion wonderful things for me, but none better than making me an aunt.

Edit, Add, and Appreciate

I stumbled upon Graceful Creative this weekend and have enjoyed reading from the archives.

One of the things I found there was the Sunday habit of reflecting on Edit, Add, and Appreciate. It is explained in this way:

Edit one thing: material objects, bad habits, negative thoughts, or activities that don't reflect who you are as a person. It doesn't have to be a physical thing; Sometimes bad habits and negative thoughts are more detrimental than physical clutter.

Add something: bring in something or reinvent one thing in your life- thoughs, habits, clothing, objects. Add something that will help you be a better person. And yes, sometimes a new pair of jeans can help.

Appreciate somebody or something that is already in your life. Hug your children and tell them how special they are. Call your spouse, just because. Be extra polite to the guy who makes your latte. Frame that piece of art.

Feel free to hop on and join us on Sundays.

Edit one thing: Somewhere over this past very busy week, I told myself it was okay to go over my limit on drinking pop. Just a little consolation prize to myself has turned into full blown debauchery in no time flat. I feel yucky, I don't sleep well, I'm embarrassed that I can't/don't do better. For everyone's sake, tomorrow needs to be judgement day for me and Dr. Pepper. I will replace all but two of my Dr. Peppers tomorrow with water, cold and sweet.

Add something: I am adding back into my schedule some time to write snail mail letters and cards. Thirty years ago, I set aside every Sunday evening to write letters- long and heartfelt- to several college age fellows. I wrote little notes of love and concern to people who were on my mind. In the simple act of faithful correspondence with others, I knew my self better. I would like to add that tradition back in, altered a bit now for an older woman with three teens and a husband and two demanding dogs.

Appreciate: Yesterday we went to my son's college to bring him home for the summer after his freshman year. My husband decided to make this trip a learning experience. He mapped out the scenic/non-freeway route and decided that my youngest (who has barely driven around the block a few times) was going to drive that route with him. She was excited and flattered that he thought she could to it, but she was scared too. It took them four hours to our two that it took my middle child and I to drive on the freeway, but that gift of his time and his confidence in her was monumental for her. She made it. Yes, she had to pull over often to let the long long line of cars impatiently driving behind her go around, but she stayed the course. So, for the trip back, he decrees that the middle child will drive back on the freeway- and she has only driven on the freeway once ever. He was very brave to ride with either of them on these maiden voyages, but I have every confidence that when they are teaching their own teens to drive, they will recount the day their dad "forced" them to stretch and grow. I admire him for the courage to be the passenger on these trips, for his kind and calm demeanor as he coached them through, and for the wisdom to know that the time was right.