Smaller

                   

One week into this new year, and here is my word for 2011 popping right up- Smaller.  Today, I’m thinking about all that has happened since I began this blog two years ago today.  It actually started before the blog, but grew dramatically with my discovery of and love for blogs.  Before I blogged or had facebook, I was a member of some “boards” on AOL.  I made friends on the AOL Pug Board that I think will be friends for life.   Early on I remember when one of the regular posters on the board mentioned not feeling well, and then when they sort of disappeared from the board, folks all offered up what tidbits they had picked up about her and it was enough to figure out where she lived and someone scoped out a phone number so that we could check on her.   We have loved each other through losses of our doggies and our spouses and even one very beloved member of the group.  When my Herbie died this fall, those folks lit candles and held us in their hearts, and even pitched in to send us a beautiful candle to remember him by.  Several years ago when I wrote out funeral instructions, I put on the list of things that needed to be done to please let the folks on the pug board know.  The world grew smaller and dearer when I became involved with these friends.

Then I discovered blogs, and I became “friends” with so many bright and interesting women.  If you get around much in the blog world, there are certain women that pretty much everyone knows and loves.  I, like so many, was heartsick and prayed and participated in craft actions when precious Stephanie and her husband were in a horrible plane crash, and have followed closely as she has walked her long and hard road to recovery.  Her world became a part of mine.

When little Sol crossed the Rainbow Bridge, I felt like I had lost a friend.  

When Kelle poured out her heart in Nella’s birth story, we became friends, and I am in love with that beautiful little girl and her delightful mom and family. My world got smaller as I drew them into my heart.

Then there is Allison- as beautiful and talented and young as I would love to be, and right here in my own hometown.  We shop at the same farmer’s market, like a lot of the same things, both have a keen eye for beauty, and we would have never met had it not been for the blog world.

Dear friends in real life- Beth, Donna, and Suzanne who share their glimpses of their daily lives.

And tonight I’m especially thinking of Edie.  I’m not sure how long we’ve been “friends” but long enough to watch her kids grow up a good bit, watch her house be transformed over and over, find  great spiritual kinship with her,  and to start to feel like family with her.  I have come to hold her in even higher esteem and love in these last couple of weeks following the tragic loss of her home and everything she owned in a house fire.  Her blog is called Life in Grace, and she indeed has walked with grace, quite literally through the fire.   I made a promise to pray for her daily each day during January, and have taken that promise seriously.  And I am happy to celebrate her- her beauty and spirit and her talent- as she celebrates her birthday.    The blogging world has stretched out its arms to surround her in love.  The world just got smaller, more tender.  Happy Birthday, my beautiful mentor and friend.

The blogging world is yet another way I am embracing my desire- smaller.  Big as this world seems, we are all so much alike, our worlds really do overlap. 

So, happy birthday sweet Edie!  And happy blogoversary to me, one grateful girl for this surprise community.

Treasures

Tonight while continuing to look for our family Christmas book that has not been seen since last Christmas, I stumbled upon a box of memories.  The girls and I laughed at some of the letters they had written to us from camp and at some of the essays they wrote in 2nd and 3rd grade.  Deeper into the box, I found an envelope that took my breath and sent me on a fast trip back in time.  Enclosed in the envelope were a number of snapshots of my oldest friend and I from tap dance classes at 5 to us walking out of high school graduation together, of Girl Scouts and swimming lessons, and of her wedding day.  When I was five years old my family moved into a new house, and right across the street lived Sandy and her house full of sisters and brothers.      She took me to her country club to swim and drink Brown Cows.  I took her camping with our family once and when rain came into the tent and got on her fuzzy slippers she cried, “Those didn’t just cost pennies, they cost dollars.”  We went every year of school together from 1st to 12th. 

Sandy joined the Marines after high school and traveled the world, becoming a Russian linguist.  She was very bright and very beautiful, and she prospered wherever she went.  She married, and she and her husband had big interesting careers and they had a daughter, and we managed to keep our friendship alive over the years. 

On a Thursday in September of 2002 a package arrived with a fun note, some old photos, and a beautiful dress for each of my girls that she had made.  On the day that the dresses arrived, my girls endured with minimal eye rolling my puling out the old Fern Creek High School yearbook once again and showing them Sandy, voted Best Dressed- telling them again that  she had made every item of clothes herself.  The next day as I was ironing the dresses  I got the call that she had been killed the day before- struck by lightening as she was judging an agility course with her beloved golden retrievers in Maine.

Sandy was my idol from the get-go. Woven into every significant occasion of my life, there is Sandy. As we got older, Sandy moved out into the world and did big things and I stayed rooted in Louisville.  But as she moved about and did interesting things, my world got bigger because of her. In March when she had visited last, it was fun to swap stories of my small urban neighborhood and her big open spaces in Maine. She encouraged me that I could survive raising girls through teen years. We both admired the grey in each other’s hair, thinking it not so bad after all.  We both cried that day when we said good-bye and hugged each other long and hard.  At the time, my tears were of joy for the great gift of enduring friendship.

I put the envelope with the note and the pictures away that day,  finding them almost too painful to even look at.  Tonight when I found them again, I was in a better place to be able to look at them with love and joy, to remember things like our camping trip when we were 18 and didn’t know the first thing about camping and thus pitched our tent on a gravel area, so that sleeping on the floor of the tent was nearly unbearable.   Of us as Rainbow Girls, dressed in formals every Saturday afternoon.  Making her a champagne bottle costume out of chicken wire and green plastic for the Calendar Girl contest.  How we dressed her little brother Stephen up in our dress up clothes when he was a little boy.  Tap dancing classes with Miss Rose Marie.  The sit-upons and campfire stew of our Girl Scout years.

In this day of facebook, it’s not all that hard to stay connected to old friends, or to re-connect.  Our connection was forged of mostly snail mail letters, and occasional visits when she was in town. 

So, I’m feeling kind of sappy tonight with a box of old treasures in my lap and a heart full of happy memories of little girls- my own, and of little girl me and my little friend Sandy.  

Wednesday Link Love

I think I need a String of Positivity in my office for the new year!

I’ve mentioned before- getting to sleep is often a battle for me, and I have to use little “visualizations” at times to get there. One of my favorites is to imagine myself being pulled along in a horse drawn sled in the dark. So, you can imagine that this destination sounds like a fun night.

Several of her top ten have made it into the rotation in our meal plan. Those brown butter and sea salt rice krispy treats are amazing!

I admit it. I’m a TED Head. Never heard one I didn’t learn something from! So, other TED heads will love this. Good to keep handy. Maybe someday I’ll give a TED talk!

Lucky Sara’s mom!

I find seeing other folks Before and After pictures inspiring. Not inspiring enough so far to do anything, but still very inspiring.

This blog never fails to make me laugh out loud. Peruse some of their entries on a gray day!

Cute idea!

I love these women, and they make me feel brave enough to try all kinds of things. This is simple, and really really good!

Power to the Grand Mothers, and may I be one

Calling All Grand Mothers

We have to live
differently

or we
will die
in the same

old ways.

Therefore
I call on all Grand Mothers
everywhere
on the planet
to rise
and take your place
in the leadership
of the world

Come out
of the kitchen
out of the
fields
out of the
beauty parlors
out of the
television

Step forward
& assume
the role
for which
you were
created:
To lead humanity
to health, happiness
& sanity.

I call on
all the
Grand Mothers
of Earth
& every person
who possesses
the Grand Mother
spirit
of respect for
life
&
protection of
the young
to rise
& lead.
The life of
our species
depends
on it.

& I call on all men
of Earth
to gracefully
and
gratefully

stand aside
& let them
(let us)
do so.

From the book Hard Times Require Furious Dancing. Copyright 2010 by Alice Walker

Music Monday

Haven’t put up any Kina Grannis in a while. I just don’t know why she hasn’t become wildly popular! This is a cover of a song I’ve been loving this week. (Those are her beautiful sisters with her.)

Going Guerrilla in 2011

My friend Anne told a great story in church the other day. She started a long time ago the practice of paying for the car behind her in drive-thrus. That week, at a McDonalds in a more upscale neighborhood than she normally frequents, she paid the tab for herself and the next in line. The girl said the other car had only ordered a couple of coffees so it wasn’t a huge amount. She pulled away and on into the adjoining shopping center lot. A glance in the rearview mirror, and she was pretty sure the truck she had just paid for was following her. She thought it might be coincidence, so she went behind the store, and when the truck followed she knew she was indeed being followed, and decided to just go ahead and meet the driver head-on and turned back in his direction. A man got out and came to her window and said, “I’d just like to know why the hell you just paid for my coffee.” She explained that she just does that from time to time, just for fun. He shook his head and said, “Well, that’s the nicest damn thing I ever heard” and got back in his car. We all got a kick out of the story, and we all fell a little more in love with Anne than we already were.

After having heard her story, and then in the same week reading this and this, I knew what one of my new years goals was going to be- to look for every opportunity to do something extravagant and anonymous that I could find. And I don’t just mean buying something for someone or leaving money for them somewhere, although I hope that I am able to do more of that too. I can’t count the times that something has shown up at our house or in our mailbox that was just what we needed and we will never know who it was who took such good care of us. I like what Kindness Girl has to say about what often holds us back.

Over time I realized that kindness came in all forms and I didn’t have to be rich to spread love and joy in the world. Tiny notes left in books at the library, a long conversation with an elderly man in the supermarket, a cold drink for a bum on the street, all of it energized my soul in a way nothing else did or could. There is no selfless good deed but it doesn’t really matter, the world needs it all… I have been on both ends of kindness and decided this was the work of my life. When I looked back, kindness had been calling me all along.

I’ve mentioned before that my youngest and I had a little secret project for a while of leaving little pieces of art in public restrooms- just little painted notes of love. It was a really neat thing for a mom and daughter to do together. If you need ideas, Kindness Girl has a bunch of great ones, or you can look at this list to see if it sparks anything in you. Don’t forget art! What a gift to leave a work of art for someone to find! My friend Suzanne’s church does this cool laundry thing. I’d love to hear some of the things you’ve done or heard about. If guerrilla is defined as a member of an irregular group of armed forces, I’m armed and ready to join the platoon of some of the most creative and generous folks I know.

Six Word Saturday

I’ve Got a Feeling about 2011

So, I’m keeping my eyes open to watch for the unexpected.